NOVELTY BABY ENROLLMENT ACCEPTANCE LETTER 

It is to give a smile to the mother of the newly born child.  This novelty gift certificate will deliver a visual and lasting display that her child is welcomed to this world of ours.  In a picture frame hanging on the wall over the baby’s cot will give a reassuring and positive feeling to the mother regardless of circumstances.   It is there to make her happy.
 
for the Newborn ..
Dear Baby,
You have, by virtue of your entry into the 
world (planet earth) been automatically enrolled as an 
under- undergraduate at the 'University of Life Experiences' (no fees required).
We hope that you will enjoy learning from everyone that you meet at the 
University of Life Experiences and that you will take something 
from the valuable lessons and courses that you embrace.
The initial pre-requisites are courses in Growing (101); Smiling (102); 
Eating (103),.(the 'Not Everything is Edible' course). This leads to the second semester 
courses of Watching (201); Listening (202); Talking (203); Walking (204); 
(Tottering or Staggering will be counted as a B+).
A word of warning about parents: They can become quite unreasonable 
about getting their sleep and will not be on call 24/7. Disappointing, but it cannot 
be helped. Also, do not become too attached to the DUMMY TEAT as, later in life, 
it can become an embarrassment. These are just some of the trials of studenthood.
Nevertheless, we know you will give joy and happiness to all you encounter in 
this life-long study regimen and wish you the highest achievement possible. 
We look forward to following your many future accomplishments.
Our sincere Congratulation to this all important enrollment.