DEGREE IN ANXIETY NOVELTY CERTIFICATE 

This beautiful art work is best to be given to a person who constantly worries about anything.  It makes him/her realize it is time to slow down in worrying and see life through calmer eyes.  A long lasting novelty gift certificate which when hanging on the wall or placed on desktop is a cheerful reminder that things are not so worrying as they may appear.  As such life can be seen in a more positive light. 

The Degree course was designed by Professor Fretter Worrywart. 
We hope this qualification will give you many opportunities 
to be apprehensive, to panic and generally freak out.
We have shown you that there is plenty to be worried about 
in this world of ours. There are spaces that are too small and spaced that 
are too large and we are confident that you will never find a space that is quite right.
Your fear of the present was equal to your fear of the future, 
and as we all know the past can return to haunt you.
Your anxiety regarding air travel received top marks 
and will happily keep you where we can keep an eye on you, 
for we observe you are developing an anxiety about being watched.
We know that you now anticipate disaster before it happens and have 
developed a wonderful vocabulary of anxiety. You are disquieted, 
nervous, tenser watchful, worried and inwardly tormented. In fact, you
have all the qualifications expected in an executive in these wonderful times.
Congratulations on this amazing achievement.