DEGREE in PARANOIA 
  
We all get paranoid at times for whatever reason.  The danger is in staying there.  An ideal gift for anybody who has difficulties in getting out of it.  With the laughter over this Degree it is made easier. 

We have many more online gifts available and invite you to browse through our funny and well written gift certificate range. We hope you enjoy reading our gift certificates as much as we enjoyed writing them!
It is unfortunate, but many of the students who take this course become agitated, apprehensive and alarmed. 
We were therefore not surprised when your friends reported that you thought someone WAS OUT to get YOU.
You mentioned the one-eyed albino with the axe in the dark alley and the time when someone in the cinema 
whispered in your ear 'BEWARE OF THE DWARF'. You say that you are being followed by a black car 
driven by a man with a scar and that you have a feeling of dread and foreboding due to the number of 
death threats you have received lately (the police assure us that they were sent by harmless cranks).
We were appalled that you accused a handicapped man. with a hook instead of a hand, of trying to 
bury the hook in your throat (he said, he just reached out to steady himself). You really should apoligise to him.
The knife that missed your head by inches was obviously an accident, as was the large piece of masonry that 
smashed to the pavement killing your POOCHYKINS. Your mechanic reports that your brakes failed 
because you do not maintain your car properly and your doctor records that you must have had 
a dizzy spell when you fell in front of an oncoming train (well done rolling out of its path).
It was sad that your cat died after eating your tuna salad, but just because your life-partner 
incinerated TABBYKINS does not mean that evidence of poison was destroyed deliberately. You 
should be pleased that your life-partner thinks so highly of you as to have your life insured for a million
dollars.
We hope that the pills that your doctor prescribed do the trick and cause your fear and panic to subside.
CONGRATULATIONS on acquiring your DEGREE in PARANOIA.
P.S. We understand that your Life-partner and your doctor were once very close friends - we are sure they
have your best interests at heart. But, TAKE CARE!